Tons of notables today.

A few months ago while out at dinner with some of my wife and I's closest friends, I noticed my his wife's belly appeared to be pregnant. We hadn't seen them in months but I gave an excited look and asked, taking a very risky chance should she not be. You could see the sadness in her face. They confirmed 4 months pregnant but with a bad diagnosis. The baby had a deformity known as anencephaly and was not expected to survive labor. Anencephaly effects the skull and portions do not fully form leaving the brain exposed.

Today was the scheduled c-section, I walked in the door from work to my wife in tears informing me that they had announced the birth (JTM - 10.6.22). They posted photos of with their son and the brother of two amazing little girls. The mother seemingly fully at peace knowing the reality of what was coming. He fought for 7 hours before passing away, returning to heaven, whole and perfect.

Though my family did not get to meet him, his short life impacted the lives of my wife, my kids, and myself ,as we reflected on our own families blessings and the relationships that we curate with each other and those around us while mourning their ultimate loss. Pray for them.

This weekend is my wife and I's, 11 year anniversary. What seemed to be to my advantage in the early days, keeping her in the dark about what I do here is taking its toll on her in the last few months. I had allowed her to remain asleep for as long as she wanted, but as she is quickly figuring out ignoring the world around us is becoming harder to do. As she sees our reality, she is recognizing the scale of what is taking place and her husbands voluntary participation and role. She seems overwhelmed at times and I want to give her a great weekend to show her she is loved and appreciated.

I can skim notables, truth posts and watch the news while at work though posting/archiving here is next to impossible with spotty mobile service on the assembly line. I much prefer my desktop rig to my 3 year old cell phone for posting but I do like to screenshot notables I come across to review for when I'm able to archive each night, it helps streamline the process. I look at this project and know that it was inspired, yet I'm unable to figure out how to maintain a consistency alone. What direction do I take it? My kids are growing and in need of a more present father. My body is failing and in need of a different means of income. Career transition seemingly requires education. My mind is tired and rest is sacrificed, often sleeping less than 5 hours a night just to maintain all of the irons in the fire. The responsibility of providing the financial, spiritual, and emotional well-being of a family of 5 is heavy most of the time though it has sharpened me over the years. Life was much easier 3 years ago. I am likely going to take some time off this weekend to reflect, think and recharge, while celebrating life and family.

I'm sure Ill make a few posts when able. Thanks for understanding.